The Secret Behind Impressive Corporate Language

Where do the heavy-sounding corporate statements come from?

Corporate Bullshit Image 1

You may have often marveled at the corporate leaders’ ability to spew wise-sounding, inspiring statements in presentations and speeches, and wondered how they can construct such sentences with heavy-sounding words, effortlessly.

Well, wonder no more, because the secret is out! They get their phrases and sentences from websites that generate such statements on demand. In the next meeting, you too can go armed with your set of phrases, and insert them at an appropriate point to impress everyone.

Here are some websites that generate corporate (bs) statements on demand:

Corporate to spiritual

So, what happens when these inspiring speakers ‘retire’ and there are no corporate captive audience to listen to them any more? They become spiritual leaders for people seeking ‘meaning’ in life. They expound profound theories in which the listeners look for hidden meanings.

Corporate Bullshit Image 2These spiritual leaders are now assisted by a different set of websites that generate statements with the right set of keywords.

Here are some random statements (generated by the website http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/):

  • “Making tea is a reflection of ephemeral confluence of divinity”
  • “Interdependence quiets your own balance”
  • “Hidden meaning results from precious mortality”

Another wonderful website randomly generating whole long articles is http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/ (just on click the “Reionize Electrons” button to generate an article).

Now, a Quiz

Please view the youtube video and  guess whether Deepak Chopra is being “profound” or is spewing “bullshit”  spiritual jargon (use the “Comment” feature below for your answer).

Use the link https://youtu.be/NoGwi9Ms09w

Please share your thoughts in the space below for comments! And don’t forget to answer the quiz: “Serious Talk” or “Making Fun”?

More Such Posts here https://rajeshnaik.com/category/musings/


I'm Rajesh Naik, and this is my personal website If you are interested in contacting me professionally, I am available on LinkedIn and I will be glad to accept your invite. You may also check out my professional website, Alignmentor.com.

13 thoughts on “The Secret Behind Impressive Corporate Language”

  1. My response “Making fun”.

    While the talk seems to be on ‘change management” (because you hear the word “change” after every few words), it is difficult to understand any sentence. Every sentence seems like a loose confederation of assembled words meandering through the script.

    Your cartoon showing the transition from the corporate to spiritual is awesome. Looks to me like its Rajesh Naik as a corporate consultant in a grey blazer changing into the saffron spiritual guru with copyrights.

    1. I will hold you to ‘making fun’ – let us see the final score. But, maybe we can ask the BCG guy himself.

      My response to your comment/ observation on me:

      “Agilely meta intellectualize responsive properties using stakeholder constructs to 3.0” 🙂

      Cheers,
      Rajesh

  2. I can understand with a bit of difficulty that it is 50% serious talk and 50% corporate jargon bullshit :). It’s really surprising that a BCG consulting partner is not able to express the idea of change management clearly and is just hovering around change and few other key words as if that itself brings organizational change & transformation.

    We can call this as DISRUPTIVE change management philosophy 🙂 . Disruptive also has become latest fad nowadays…and Consistency has often got stale.

    1. Thanks, Ashwini.

      However, one can bullshitingly combine ‘disruptive’ with ‘consistency’. And also turn ‘disrupt’ to a noun. For example:

      “Consistently create harmonizing disrupts”

      (or whatever combination works well)

      Cheers

      Rajesh

    1. While we get our fellow bloggers to respond to your quiz, here are a few more jargons spewed at the recent ET Global Business summit:

      1. You are free so long as removal of democracy is not part of your programme. It is called the meta-democratic problem.

      2. Anti fragility is beyond resilience or robustness.The resilient resists shocks and stays the same. the anti-fragile gets better.

      Decipher that.

      Cheers.

  3. I think this is bordering to “making fun” as there is nothing concrete said but only a set of sentences which are obvious in any scenario. It’s like saying – wait for the red and go for the green! Kinder garden stuff (if I may)!

  4. DC was pure BS. And so were some of his co- panelists.

    I feel spiritual BS is the “highest” form of BS. Once you label any babel as spiritual, anything goes.

    1. Grow a beard. Don some saffron robes. Carry a lotta and some beads. Claim that all mankind are descendants of butterflies (or cockroaches or something). Install a butterfly God (or a Cockroach God). Tell some story about positive and negative vibrations.

      And laugh your way to the bank!

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