Sent “on the move”/ “from my iphone” and things like that

Now-a-days, I often get messages from my colleague Ooonuj that end with:

• “Sent on the move from my iphone. Please excuse typos and brevity.”

Most of the time, the actual message is shorter than the signature line, something like “OK” or “Will Get back to you” or “On Dec 6”, so I am not sure what kind of typos to account for (is it really Dec 6? or Jan 6? or Dec 7?)

If I did not know Ooonuj well enough, I may have seen hidden messages in his signature line. Here are a few of them:

1. I own an iphone, and I want everyone to know about it!
2. I am on the move most of the time
3. I work while I am moving
4. I have sent you a message (or responded to you). Therefore, I have met my response time service level. The fact that I have not answered any of your questions should not be held against me
5. Now that I have sent some response, the ball is in your court
6. I know how to use the word “brevity”
7. If I typed something wrong/ stupid, I will blame it on “typos” (I am covered)

However, knowing Ooonuj, here is the real explanation:

“My 10 year-old child set up this message on my new smart-phone (it is not even an iphone). I don’t know how to take off the message. My child wants to charge me a bomb for the help”.

Anyway, I did compile a set of other email signatures, which you can use (please add “(c) Rajesh Naik” to the email signature):

1. Sent by My iphone [if my iphone is so smart, just imagine the real thing]
2. Sent from my Lenovo ideapad Z570 laptop, with my bum on a comfortable cushioned chair. No excuses for the verbosity.
3. Sent while driving the car with my hands on the steering, typing with my nose. Please excuse the snot.
4. Sent from a traffic jam, though the traffic was not moving, the cell phone towers were.
5. This email was conceptualized on my morning run. Mentally drafted while having breakfast. Typed comfortably on my desktop. But I forgot to send. So, finally this pathetic piece of shit was – “Sent on the move from my iphone. Please excuse typos and brevity.”

Another thought. Just like we have signatures on the emails, we can also sign off from telephonic conversations, thusly:

1. “Spoken while stuck in a traffic jam near the stinky, suffocating Mahim creek, using my Nokia C3 over Airtel. Please excuse the heavy breathing and incoherent gibberish”.
2. “Spoken while eating sandwich samosa burger with extra butter, and chocolate sauce at the Cholesterol Restaurant. Pardon the choking sound”.
3. “Spoken from the Thought Leadership Sessions on Integrity in Business Dealings hosted by Enron and Anderson. I admit to nothing”.
4. “Spoken from the workshop for Simple Living High Thinking by Vijay Mallya of United Spirits. Pardon the luxurious background music sponsored by Kingfisher staff and contractors”.

By the way, it is not for nothing that my colleague is called Ooonuj (I mean it is for some reason that he is called Ooonuj). But that is a matter for another post.

Typed sitting in Bangalore. Under a fan. Sitting on a chair. With a cup of coffee. On my Lenovo ideapad. With a Photon connection. Who cares if you pardon or not?

Please feel free to share your views, experiences, and queries, using the “comments” feature.